Friday, January 13, 2012

diggin through old files...

recently seen quite a few people posting/translating their college app essays...i found mine. looking back, there are parts that i like and parts that i found myself frowning upon. overall, its not too terrible but could've been a lot better if i had devoted more time to write it haha

Why do people believe in fairy tales and happy endings? Why do little girls wish to be princesses with big tall castles? Why do young women fantasize about chivalrous Prince Charmings?

Even I had wanted to dine with silverware, sleep until noon in my lofty canopy bed, and dance in soft satin shoes. But what fascinated me the most were the hopes that castles embody. Châteaux, castillo, castelli, castelo – in every language, the word “castle” has a certain enchanted meaning. The spiraling pinnacles reaching for the sky dare humans to think the impossible. While the soaring heights and enormity of castles seem unreal, their mere existence proves the opposite.

With these thoughts, I walked into my first castle, Alcázar of Segovia, in Spain. Alcázar’s – “fortress” in Spanish – rough exterior did not mirror the delicate walls of the castles of my dreams. Its roof of sharp slate spires was far from elegance. Inside, the light struggled to come through the aged, tinted windows.

Where was my grand ballroom with crystal chandeliers? I searched frantically through the Alcázar brochure in my hand as I stumbled into a chamber with two mullioned windows. An exquisite mural painting appeared in front of me; in the center stood a young lady dressed in white, wearing a gold crown.

My mind traveled back to the road trip during which Carmen, my Spanish correspondent, and Mercedes, my host “mom”, conversed animatedly about the monarchs of Spain, trying to count all the Alfonsos, Ferdinands, and Isabellas. Could this be a painting of one of the most famous queens – Isabella the Catholic? It never occurred to me that a woman like Queen Isabella would have ever lived in such an unadorned castle.

Yet, I began to comprehend: the castle was only a symbol of power and authority while its inhabitants were the ones that created history, adding invisible sophistication to the castle. Underneath the dull surface of the parched walls and faded splendor laid the sagas of human success and failure.

As I climbed the strenuous spiral staircase to the top of the castle, seeking to view the grandeur of Segovia, I imagined Isabella doing the same more than six hundreds years ago. Perhaps, she too wondered about dreams, enchanted tales, and the complex nature of reality. Perhaps, she too had to face extremely conflicting choices, for instance, in the expulsion of the Jews and Muslims in Spain.

Realizing that even fairytale-like queens experienced turmoil and setbacks, I felt that I could no longer run away from my fears of failure, the difficult mission to master a new language, the seemingly impossible task to blend my two cultures – the American and the Chinese – to hide behind the surreal happiness of princess tales. Without the acknowledgment of reality, hopes and dreams are as empty as a castle without its past. These ideals will only disappoint me for I need to break my own barriers and write my own fairytale, even if it has flaws. Confidently, I started my first chapter.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

对剩女/女强人一些感想。。。。


剩女这个词有太多贬义。 对于出生在良好的家庭而且接受过比较好的高等教育的女生来说, 这词太有恐惧性了。 通常这些女孩经济独立, 生活上也不渴望些什么。父母的疼爱足以让她们觉得没有男生的爱慕也不是什么大不了的事情 假若身材高挑一点嘛, 找对象更是麻烦。亚裔男没有几个特别高, 要说找白人嘛又会遇到culture difference的种种不适。 假若在国外呆久了, 找对象语言上又是一个问题。 只会说英文的abc男又嫌弃他们不珍惜中国文化,而只会说中文英文少略懂一点的也不行在正式场合下带不出去。 大部分的男人自尊心特别强, 假若把这种女生和另一种特别小鸟依人什么也不是特别好的女生放在他们面前,几乎大部分男人都会选择后者。 想找事业心的嘛,年轻的在这个年龄有几个是认真的? 有一句挺有意思的话,20多岁的女生几乎都在帮别人调教男朋友/丈夫等等。 这年头想找一个合适的喜欢的真不容易啊。。。



Thursday, January 5, 2012

GMAT rant no.1...with numerous to come

*GMATinggg*
i hate studying...blah blah blah

actually, it is not all that bad. some of the reading passages are interesting and quantitative part makes nostalgic of the SAT days. Data sufficiency and critical reasoning are something totally new to me. They are so strange for someone like me who does not have much common sense of logic. Eyeroll.

I have struggled to get up early in the mornings to study but have failed miserably for the past week. Trouble sleeping at night + continuous ignorance of alarm clock = waking up at 1pm everyday. It sounds terrible, I know. I am much a morning person and more productive at early hours of the day only if I can get up! I am determined to accomplish this.

There is so many things to be done, the list goes on endlessly. So many things on my wish to-do list as well. So hard to accomplish when more than half of my time is spent sleeping >.<

Ok, going back to critical reasoning now. BOOOO